Dear Marrieds, Help a Single Sister Out on V-day

Singleness Awareness Day by Leslie Foster-Ponderings From an Ohio Farm Girl, Contributing Writer

As the New Year rolls into February, the world begins to turn pink.  Don’t get me wrong- I like a little pink in my world.  But Valentine’s Day takes pink to a whole new level of overkill.  My feelings about the pink tend to match my feelings about the holiday in general.  As a single woman, V-Day, (or S.A.D./Singleness Awareness Day, as I can’t help but think of it) is not exactly something I look forward to.

Therefore, from my venerated position of surviving 10 years as a single woman, I would like to offer you, the married world, some advice for making S.A.D. a little less sad for your single friends and family.

How to Not Be an Obnoxious Married Person on Valentine’s Day

-Do not ask your single friends or family to babysit.  For the love of Pete, the only thing worse than knowing all your friends are out celebrating the love they’ve found together is knowing it while you change diapers, make hot-dog pac-men, and watch Dora the Explorer for the third time for the children of said blissfully happy couples.  If you need a babysitter on Valentine’s Day, just pony up and hire the high school girl next door.  She’ll be happy to have the gas money, and maybe the Dora repetition will help her on her Spanish test next Friday.

-It’s reasonable that you will want to spend some time with your significant other on V-Day.  And of course you should.  If, however, you can avoid discussing all the details around your single friends, they would appreciate it.  No doubt you have lots of married friends; find a friend who is happily married, and share your plans (or memories) with them.

-If you have a close friend who is single, consider doing something special for him or her on or around V-Day.  Bear in mind that your single friends may rarely get to enjoy chocolates, flowers, and fancy dates.  Plan a girls’ night together (plan it around your own V-Day gathering with your spouse, of course).  If you’re tight on time, sending a card or flowers that express your appreciation of your friendship is a nice gesture that is sure to be appreciated.

-Be aware of the fact that many single people are not single by choice.  Aside from not having a date, V-Day is hard for singles because it’s two weeks of being reminded that, while the majority of the adult community is sharing life with someone they love, they are still alone.  It’s hard not to question why that might be.  Make an effort to tell your single friends what you love about them.  Be sincere and be careful not to sound condescending.  “I don’t know WHAT’s wrong with men these days!  You’re smart, funny, and beautiful- why haven’t you been snapped up?!” is not helpful.  Why, indeed?  You’re leading your friend to start that conversation in her mind, no doubt for the millionth time.  Just go for a sincere compliment, unrelated to your friend’s marital status.

As another Valentine’s Day approaches, I want to thank you, fine married folk, for taking the time to read this article.  On behalf of my single brothers and sisters out there, we appreciate your efforts to help us out during this season.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

Marrieds what are some ways you encourage your single friends around Valentines day? What are your thoughts on this Singles or Marrieds? Singles how have you been encouraged by marrieds?

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  1. Pingback: Valentine’s Day Activities for the Family- Recipes, crafts, home decor, kid activities, diy… | Inspired By Family

  2. I take the kids and ambush my friends car with writing on the windows, art work, etc. This Valentine’s I have one of those obnoxious large cards. I considered leaving it at her office, but I think I’ll just sneak over to her house in the middle of the night. And for my sister in law, I encourage my hubby to take her out on dates. I send him over with flowers.