Contributing Writer: Virginia Davidson
Standing in a crowded room of people I tend to not talk much. The words get stuck in the back of my throat and I feel overwhelmed. What if I say something stupid and totally embarrass myself? Instead I stand back and claim that I’m taking in the room and “people watching.” People watching can quickly turn to judging myself and others.
My inner questions begin,
- “What is she wearing?”
- “I would never be able to pull that off.”
- “She looks like she’s got everything together, I want to meet her.”
- “I wish my hair looked like that.”
- “I bet her kids and home are spotless.”
- “I’m not going to talk to her, I’m a nobody.”
Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes. And suppose a poor man in worn-out clothes also comes in. Would you show special attention to the one who is wearing fine clothes? Would you say, “Here’s a good seat for you”? Would you say to the poor person, “You stand there”? Or “Sit on the floor by my feet”? If you would, aren’t you treating some people better than others? Aren’t you like judges who have evil thoughts? ~ James 2:2-4 NIRV
We can do the same in the blogging world.
Have you been lurking and judging people by their blog design? Maybe it’s that they don’t have as many “followers” and you don’t even bother to read their post. I mean, why would I comment and link up on a blog of 80 followers when I can be comment #700 on “Mrs. So&So’s” blog.
Or maybe “little Mrs. 75 followers blog, asks you to be a guest on her blog and you don’t even bother to respond because you’re much too busy right now but then Mrs. Big Stuff 2000 followers Blog emails you the same request and all of a sudden you found the time to email her back and come up with a project for her. There is definitely something to be said for making wise choices and using your time wisely but if you’re showing someone else more courtesy because of their number of followers, you may need to do a heart check.
Don’t be jealous where God has someone. Be content where God has placed us. If we’re writing what we believe God is putting on our hearts, how can that come back void?
1 person impacted for ETERNITY is worth it!
Were you hoping for an easy list of things to do on how not to show favoritism in blogging?
Not going to happen. I struggle with favoritism. I like the look of good design. I’m attracted to it. People suggest it. The world runs toward it. Maybe that’s where we need to start. Asking ourselves if we’re running toward things because it’s popular or because it a place we find true community and encouragement.
It’s not a competition(or is it?)
Here are a few thoughts I’m leaving you with (bloggers or not);
- “Am I OK if God wants me to impact 1 person for eternity?” (& what if that 1 person is me?)
- Seek advice and learn from those a few steps above you.
- Remember those that may be trying to learn from you and encourage them.
- Do a heart check – you’ll know down deep if you’re getting caught up in the “popular” v. “unpopular”. Trust your gut.
- Pray. Make some changes.
- Don’t look at the google followers numbers before you read the post!
- You’re not a nobody – your words matter. Encourage the “rich” and the “poor” (those with 25 followers and those with 3000 followers). Let’s read, live and love people online and off without giving special treatment to the “rich”.
Whether we’re meeting people in real life or through a blog let’s remember not to show favoritism, but to look to the heart not at what they have or not have.
Excellent post Virginia! Practitioner of what is preached! If only….. Thank you!
Yes, hopefully we can all work on this! =)
Awesome post. “Am I OK if God wants me to impact 1 person for eternity?” (& what if that 1 person is me?)” really stood out for me. Reminds people WHY we write in the first place.
It’s something I have to remind myself every time I hit “publish” =) Thanks Heather!
Hi Virginia – such a great post and great reminder to double check ourselves and our motives in blogging. Thank you too for linking up on Winsome Wednesday. my heart is to encourage other women and if I encourage only one, I’m happy with that too
But to be honest all the ‘numbers’ do influence occasionally. Look forward to seeing you there next week 
God bless
Tracy
Totally, I mean if we can influence more than 1, most of us would say, “yes, please!” Just being ok with the 1 is the tough part.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
hopped over from Tracy’s…great post and great encouragement here…the challenge to connect…without strings…to give not to get…whether here…in my home…in the body…I want to be a servant first and foremost. thanks for this…blessings~
What a beautifully written comment! So glad you came by!
Sent from my iPhone
Love this post! so thoughtful and so true.
Blessings!
Andee
PS visiting from A Glimpse Inside
How very true!
I’ve certainly seen a difference in where a guest post has gone. At the same time, I’ve seen a bigger number over the long run from a blog that didn’t appear to have as many readers. That one was a surprise.
The smaller number of readers has not stopped me from leaving a comment. Only being able to comment with a Google account has stopped me lately, since Google keeps kicking me out and making me change my password every time I want to leave a comment (and now I can’t even remember what I changed it to last time).
If I can leave a comment, simply, and I have something to say, then I will. (I like that it’s simple enough to leave a comment on here! No weird letters that I can’t read, either
)
I had that for awhile with google and I’m terrible about commenting from my phone. I’m not the biggest fan of captcha either
so glad you stopped by!
To the Prudent Homemaker,
Is this something Google just started? Is this for non-google bloggers trying to comment on google blogs? Does it happen with all google blogs?
Thanks
Lorrie
Great post, Ginny! I am always checking out new blogs or ones that are new to me. Many other bloggers were so kind and helpful to me when I first started blogging that I try to pay it back. There are times that things get hectic and I am not able to comment back but I really do try to make the effort. Blogging should be fun and if it becomes a chore then it is time to get out. Thanks for bringing this subject up.
Hugs, Sherry
I’m not sure. I think I figured out for me if I commented from my computer and made sure my “google” account is signed in all of the time it stopped doing that. I think I had unchecked “stay signed in” for a bit and that was messing me up. Hope this helps. I’m not sure about the details.
Beautiful post…
Thanks for the reminder that one is enough. Great thoughts!
thanks for stopping by!
Thanks Virginia! I am a new blogger and this is such a helpful reminder. I’m thankful God has continued to keep my heart focused on Him, without that I’d be constantly trying to seek out ways to get more and more followers instead of the true purpose of why I began to write…
To share how Jesus transformed my life.
Chelsea
blogging at http://www.for-unmarried-christian-women.com
Love those words ~ “To share how Jesus transformed my life.” So glad you started blogging!
AMEN!!! This is a very encouraging post. I applaud you for writing it.
Sharon @ mrs. hines class
Thanks for reading and your encouragement!
I love this post. I think it’s a great reminder… mostly to myself. As in, I’m insecure in the “real world,” and I could easily become insecure out here in cyberspace. I really appreciate your honesty, and bringing it back to God and how God might want to use blogs was also a wake-up call. Thank you for posting!!!
Sarah, So glad you were encouraged. It’s something that I think most of us deal with in the cyber-world – feeling a bit insecure
Glad you stopped by. ~V
Hello. Very good subject for this post. I could not agree more with everything you have said. As a blog with under 100 followers I have felt the sting of blog favoritism. I rarely get new followers or commenters and there is one blog in particular where I have shared posts on their linky party and have never gotten so much as a thanks for linking up. I call it blog snobery, if you will!!! I have also seen where blogs have posted “complete crap” and had 50 comments and I barely get one comment per post and that’s after linking up to numerous parties. I have questioned what is wrong with my blog. It really not THAT bad. I know that my photos are probably less than magazine perfect because I use a simple point and click digital camera, but since blogging is not my “business” and I actually work for a living, I just cannot justify purchasing an $800 camera to take photos of things I consider a hobby. No I don’t have the time to post every.single.day. but I do believe that my design and content is fairly good and that I should have a little more traffic. I have in the past asked questions of popular blogs only to get no response. However, I have found a few who are willing to help and I really appreciate them.
Sheila, I just stopped by your blog and it looks fabulous. I also don’t know what’s the magical thing to get people to comment. Sometimes I have commenters and sometimes I don’t. I think those people who get 50 comments on them sharing that they saw a bird outside their window are people with 100′s of followers. So that really helps with the commenting when 100′s of people are getting your updates. I hope you are able to get past the “snobbery” bloggers you mentioned and those who have put you off and enjoy your blogging journey. Sometimes I get in a funk and I just have to stop my critical mind of myself and others and remind myself why I am doing what I am doing.
Sheila,
Your comment about posts that are “crap” and have 50 comments hit home with me. I started my blog in late 2007 and made it public in 2008. I have 30 followers and had NO IDEA people actually consider that when choosing to read a post! That falls into my category of “stupid sh*#”.
Let’s just blog for the joy of blogging and sharing and learning from other stories out there. My blog is not a business either. But traffic comes in ebbs and flows. I hear you and get where you’re coming from completely!!!
Just keep doing what you’re doing, like I am.
Cheers to you!
Mary
I totally agree Sheila, with ALL you say in your comment and Virginia’s post here. I keep saying, “I’m blogging for pleasure,” and I don’t even care to have ads. However, for some reason I always look at my stats and number of followers. It must be human nature to want our ego stroked a bit from time to time. I do believe as in the real world, there are “clicks.” If not, why do we see simple, shoddy projects being featured? I chalk it up to the fact that my taste must be different.
Well said!
Thanks Beth =)
I love this post and really needed it this week! Thanks for sharing.
Glad you found encouragement here this week =)
Oh, it is all so silly. Which is not to say that I don’t get sucked in, of course! Your take shows real wisdom.
Thanks, believe me it’s not my wisdom
It is so hard not to get sucked in. We can do it seeking God daily and allowing Him to give us our significance. Easier said than done, right 
amazing post. wonderful perspective! i would love for you to link this post up to the spread the love weekend wrap up party i host on my blog. http://www.lovenotesbylauryn.blogspot.com/2012/03/spread-love-4-elissa-hudson-giveaway.html
there is also an AMAZING elissa hudson print giveaway going on right now as well.
hope to see you there!
{love} lauryn @ lovenotesbylauryn.blogspot.com
Thanks for the invite! I’ll let the site publisher link up so we don’t get linked twice! Thanks for letting us know and for the encouragement =)
Beautifully said!
Thanks Laura!
Yep, definitely guilty of this. Thank you for your words.
Thanks for your comment and words in return
What a great post, one that I am sure most of us can relate to. Thanks for putting it into words and perspective.
amy @ whilewearingheels.blogspot.com
This is a wonderful post and a nice reminder to be courteous and grateful to everyone who we encounter int his blogging world. Thank you very much for sharing this thoughtful post at my link party:)
xxx
Kim
Kim, Love those two words – courteous and grateful! Great summation! =)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here on your blog! I’ve been blogging for years (almost 3) and only have 154 followers. Sometimes It does get me down, but then I think about the friendships I have made… and know I am blessed! I tend to be a faithful commenter and with that I have developed some wonderful blog friends! I have reminded myself lately that blogging is not a race, it’s a way of sharing talents, gifts, thoughts, ideas, joys…etc. One at a time………
dee dee
I stopped by your blog and it looks great. And I agree with your reminder “it’s not a race” though I have to constantly remind myself “why I do what I do” and it definitely not about numbers but sharing Christ through our recipes, crafts, encouragment etc…. Thanks for being a faithful commenter we appreciate it.
Your home decor before and afters are awesome! What a beautiful thing we get to do – share our lives with others! So glad you are and have found wonderful friends along the way. Isn’t it funny to try and explain the friendships many of us have in the blog world to our local friends.
Have a great day!
Standing and applauding!!!
Thanks Tanya =)
I loved this post and agreed with you, and thank you for saying it. I do find that the “trend” is for everyone to run to the large blogs. I’ve never really understood that. I find I have found more friends by “connecting” with “smaller” blogs, and being able to share more personally. Recently a very large blog featured a blog they have featured several times, and instead of sharing several featured links from her party, she choose the same blog again, and only her. It’s like she said of the over 300 links there was only one worth featuring. So I find certain blogs “favor” blogs who are in their style of decorating/blogging. I would never party with this blog again. I’m finding the big established blogs who are making this their business boring. It’s all so perfect, I like more real bloggers. I also tire of seeing the same blogs teaming up with other blogs kind of monopolizing. So for the last few weeks I party with those who party with me, and I will concentrate on blogs who are more real. They are I don’t have to have a post everyday etc. Thanks for this post and for sharing at Sunday’s Best.
SOOOO right!!
Glad you found a bit of encouragement today & have found people to “party” with =)
Posted on You’re a far braver veiewr than I I’ve given up on even the one genre show this season I sorta liked, Reaper, cause when it’s on, I can’t motivate enough interest to actually watch a whole episode.I’m a reality whore now. It’s all I do.
What a wonderful piece, Virginia!
Thank you Lisa =)
Love this post. Thank you for the reminder…I try to write only when I’ve been given something to say. Otherwise, it’s just tinkling symbols and sounding brass. Wouldn’t each of us like to be the next big thing? Maybe…but who and whose are we?
Beautiful. I landed here from the Faith Filled Friday Blog Hop, and I’ll be back.
Peace and good to you.
“but who and whose are we?” – beautiful =) That’s what we need to remember every day!
Oh My! This is excellent! Would love to have you link it up at Monday’s Musings at http://www.whatjoyis.blogspot.com. Such a good reminder that blogging, for me, is unto the glory of God….period! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the encouragement! I’ll let Mari (the editor) link up so it doesn’t get linked twice. Thanks for the invite!
Yeah, it’s embarrassing to admit this stuff! I even admire those who don’t display how many followers they have. One lady who started blogging with me started having all her kids and husband to follow her. That’s NOT why we started this…even though we let it boost our ego when we have someone start to follow! When I write and post I’m talking to my 28 followers and sharing the things that interest me and my family…if 28 folks think that’s cool then fine!
It is hard not to look at the numbers and allow those to influence us! Thanks for commenting =)
What a funny post ~ funny to me because I don’t look at followers and such when I read a post. And I find it hilarious when I see people sucking up in the comments of the “popular” bloggers (You’re so great or I am so honored that you visited, etc). I totally understand what you’re saying though, I was always the unpopular kid in school and I am now the unpopular mom in my kids’ schools. Such is life though and it is refreshing to just live and love my own way without having to compete with others. I don’t feel the need to follow the herd simply to be popular or internet famous. And just because a blog has followers doesn’t mean that people are actually reading the daily posts……
We would be wise to remember that God made each and every one of us in His own image ~ perfect!
So right, Christine! “God made each and every one of us in His own image ~ perfect!” I’m glad you’re not affected by numbers and look more toward the heart =) What an awesome thing not to be tempted to look at numbers for your significance. Glad you stopped by!
For me it’s the opposite. I don’t get much traffic on my blog. (i work full time and can’t post three times a day like a lot of other bloggers). But I know how much it discourages to write a really heartfelt post and feel like no one notices.
I actually try and post on the blogs with few comments. One, to encourage the blogger to keep at it. And two, because I feel like my comments will havemore of a chance of being read by others – and thereby give more people some insight/help/encouragement, whatever.
I’ve had that too. The post that you feel so connected to and pour out your heart and there are crickets dancing across the internet —no comments.
Been there a lot!
This is a great post! I am a newish blogger with a small following and I try to live by what you wrote. We are human and want to be successful, as you pointed out, but I am pretty content where I am knowing I’m trying my best AND I enjoy what I’m doing.
I love visiting and commenting on the smaller blogs….we are all in this together!! Thanks for writing this. Have a great week!
I’m so glad you are enjoying what you’re doing! It is so fun commenting and encouraging others, isn’t it!? =)
“Am I OK if God wants me to impact 1 person for eternity?” (& what if that 1 person is me?)
Powerful! I am back into blogging after some time away due to an illness that I am still coping with. God is using me and that burden to share stories about His provision, with a funny bone attached!! This re-centers me on writing for His Glory, not for my Glory.
Please come see me anytime!
~joy!
Vicky @ sleeping in an unmade bed
Nice to “meet you” =) Glad you’re sharing your stories!
Victoria Posted on OMG!!!! THIS IS SO AWESOME!! When I was in Santa Barbara I fell in LOVE with biking and miss my green seoistann that I so Southernly named Mint Julep. Lime Dime brings a tear to my eye. KEEP IT UP GURL!!
It is rough out there in the blogging community, as in any other “community” by trying to fit in and be liked. No one wants to be “lonely” in anything they do. I also have less than 100 followers and it takes A LOT to get people to my blog. I have been amazed by how some bloggers have managed to get 1,000 followers in the short 2 months they’ve been at it. Some days I’m frustrated by it, but most days I’m OK with all that. These people don’t make me who I am and they don’t decide my fate in life and remember that blogging too shall pass. I try harder to support the smaller blogs, unless they just don’t fit with how I think.
& being ok and content with that =) We’re sharing our lives with people and it’s quite a privilege and something that a lot of people won’t do. (Even though it seems like there are a million blogs, how many people do you know locally that open up their lives to encourage others and share so much!?) Love what you wrote; “people don’t make me who I am” =)
I love this post! This is exactly why we removed our followers button- we want people to judge us based on the quality of our content vs. if we’re “popular” or not. Well done, friend!
I removed the “followers” on my personal blog for this reason a bit ago. Thanks for the encouragement!
AMEN!!!! I wrote a heartfelt post last night re: a bit of this….. thank you for sharing this at Project Queen’s party. You couldn’t have said it any better.
Thank you Mandy =)
What a great post! I couldn’t agree more. I hate that so many people feel so competitive with one another. I think we should all support one another and stop comparing ourselves to everyone else.
I too am guilty of being jealous of other bloggers on occasion. It’s hard not to be. I just try to always remind myself that this is my journey and I should only compare myself to myself. There is enough room on the internet for all of us! It’s okay if there are other more successful bloggers out there. There’s room for you too.
I really try to just enjoy blogs based on their content, not on their followers. Honestly, I’ve been to several huge blogs lately (like 5 million page views a month, huge!) and didn’t really enjoy them as much as I enjoy some of the blogs with 50 followers. I know I’m a broken record with so many other bloggers, but it really does boil down to good content. Have great content and people will come back for more.
Anyway, thanks for writing such a great post. It’s a great reminder for all of us that we need to support each other instead of being jealous of one another.
Thanks for the encouragement. It’s nice to know we’re not alone when we wrongly start to compare and allow jealousy to sneak in. It really is about the content and community =)
Thank you for sharing this post. I stopped myself immediately for feeling inept because I don’t have thousands of followers–I had to remind myself why I blog; I love domestication, furniture rehabs, and bits of vintage things–I want to share and see what everyone else is creating or thinking too. And you can certainly tell which big blogs are down to earth; and which ones are all about “the popular gang”. I just don’t go there. On my sidebar I have many different blogs I love to follow; most are not blogs with thousands of followers–many are not “in the group”; all of them are down to earth and give me great inspiration. I get excited when I pick up a one or two followers in a week’s time! There will always be grand snobbery in bloggery—choose to ignore them or feed their vanity; it’s really up to us as individuals.
“I want to share and see what everyone else is creating or thinking too.” – that’s lovely! I’m glad you’re also finding community blogging! =)
This post is very encouraging. It is surely something I will remind myself of. Thank you so much. It was truly a powerful message!
Glad you were encouraged!
Virginia, this is such a great post! One that everyone in the blogging community needs to read. Thank you for sharing it with us at Inspiration Friday, we are featuring it this week.
Heather
Thank you for the sweet words. Glad you were encouraged and sharing with your readers!
I have found some blogs that didn’t have many followers that were God honoring and “owned” by some very dear women. I featured them on my blog more than once, so others could find them and be inspired as I was. I think it’s important to encourage and help like minded bloggers as we’re able. Affirmation keeps me going.
I am proud to say that I no longer am a stat checker of my blog, at least on a regular basis (haha). If one of my posts touches the heart of ONE person and helps them, then by the Grace of God, it’s a success. Visiting here from Monday’s Musings. ~ Abby
This was great. Yes, if you are writing what God puts on your heart, how can it come back void?
Hi Virginia, I’ll be featuring your article tomorrow night at Project Queen’s Highlight Party. Thank you SO MUCH for linking it up. Wonderful article.
Thank you so very much, Virginia!
Also, thanks to Cathy @ My 1929 Charmer for being open to us ‘small fish’ and to Mandy who chose to feature this article!
Blessings to all!
What a great post! So true~so true, I try hard to find those ‘newbies’ out there in blogland like mine and show them some love, to date I only have 10 followers, I sometimes get discouraged & think no one cares if I blog or not, but I so enjoy it so I ask myself should I continue & then someone as sweet as you posts this awesome post. God, lead me to your blog & I am so grateful for that. Again thank you, I hope if you have time to check out my little ole blog & tell me what you think.
Thank You & Many Blessings
atirinspireddecor.blogspot.com
This is such an inspiring post. I think we all set out on our blogging adventure with the purest of intentions, but we all fall into the competition pit. I know that when this happens to me, I feel so inadequate, but that isn’t how God made me or how he feels about me. Because blogging takes so much effort and time, it is normal for one to have the desire to be successful. Thanks for reminding us how we should be defining our success. Thanks for the “heart check”!
Take care,
Trish
What a fantastic post – I’ve thought about this a lot in the “real” world and in the blog world. I try to check myself regularly that I’m not making my decisions based on preconceived prejudices / stereotypes. One of my favorite bloggers received some feedback about her style of writing and some of the “slang” she used. She is very, very well spoken, but she uses slang to convey her personality. I was completely offended that anyone would dare criticize her writing style. That’s one of the reasons I love her blog – because I feel like she’s speaking to me. I think I’ve gotten off-topic here…great post, great points, and very thought-provoking.
Love it. Thanks for the encouragement.
Fondly, Tami
http://www.thisandthatfromtami.blogspot.com
I completely agree! And, it’s funny because I tend to do the opposite. I rarely comment on Mrs. 2000 followers’ blog, because, hey, she already has tons of people and my comment means nothing to her. I’m more likely to comment on fledgeling blog (like mine) because I feel like my encouragement will likely mean more to her. Great thoughts!
I 100% agree!!! That’s why I unfollowed all my “millions” followers’ blogger and Twitter because I’m a drop in the ocean. They forget that they are popular thanks to us.
Excellent post, Virigina. I love it!
Look at you!! Plugging right away at that list
Try fried Okra- bread it and fry it. Its not slimey then. I coludn’t stop eating it when we had it that way. Miss you tons!!!
DK