Date Nights: How To Make Them Work and Stick

Date Nights: How To Make Them Work & Stick

How to make it work? Dating our man is NOT only for the young newly wed couples who are madly in love and go out every week because they don’t have kids who sap all of their energy.

Moms and dads it’s for us too! Remember when I shared about my dating my husband journey and my shattered expectations here? Well, if you read it, you know it can be a challenge but it’s worth it.

Do what works best for you and stop comparing your relationship with others. Get ideas from others but don’t try keep up with what your bestfriend is doing or your favorite blogger who shares all of those amazing date adventures. In order for this to stick beyond a couple of weeks or months you have to figure out your own groove. And your own groove can’t be watching a movie on your couch every single time.

Let’s get started!

• Decide what works best for you: Once a week, twice a month or once a month. Be realistic!
• Get your yearly calendar out and plan them (don’t worry you don’t need to plan details just put down DATE NIGHT) for at least 6 months ahead of time. Use the stickers below to help you out. Don’t let anything get in the way of your date night. And don’t change it unless you have consulted your spouse before hand.
• Decide if you are going to take turns planning or if one of you is going to be the date planner. Don’t just assume they will do it. If you’re taking turns right down whose turn it is next to each date.
• You will need a monthly calendar that you regularly look at. For us it’s a large calendar and it’s in our kitchen. I bought it at the teacher supply store and laminated it. We write all of our monthly activities on it but I also write them in my personal calendar.
• Babysitters: Your relationship is worth the cost of a babysitter, so hire one if that’s the only way to make it happen. If you don’t have sitters, start asking your friends who they trust and recommend as a sitter.  I used to be a part of a babysitting co-op and we took turns babysitting each others kids so we wouldn’t have to pay for a sitter. I put together some great tips for you to share with your babysitter here.
• If one of you is forgetful get permission to send them a reminder or two right before your date. I say get permission so that it doesn’t come across as nagging. If both of you are forgetful find a reminder system that emails you automatically to remind you.
• Don’t throw out the idea if it doesn’t work out for the first few times. Try again it takes some getting used to, especially if this has been unexplored territory.
• Be flexible. Be flexible. Oh wait, did I say be flexible.
• Your dates don’t have to be a grand adventure or a fancy meal with a serenade. There is definitely room for some fun and out of the ordinary dates but don’t exhaust yourself planning.
• Look your best even if it’s a ball game date. Remember your goal is to connect with each other and spend quality time with one another but making an extra effort to look nice makes a difference.
• Set up a rule that you won’t spend all of your time talking about the laundry, the kids, what still needs to be done or changed. If you do need to discuss this because it’s your only time then set a time limit. Take 10 minutes to discuss this and don’t bring it up again.
• No distractions! No texting, answering cells or kids. Yes, we love our kids and they know we do but date nights are about connecting with your spouse. If you want to set up a family date night on another night we have a list of wonderful ideas for you and the kids! This year we decided to start a date night with our children. A one on one time with Mom or dad.

What kind of dates should we go on?

I share here 25 Fun Date Night Ideas if you want a more extensive list.

You can find things you both like or want to try and enjoy those activities together. Read the same book together and then gather to discuss. You can decide to make your date night a night about your spouse and do the things they like to do. For example, watch a sappy chic flic or a night of fun filled sex.  It can be a Date Night In, but no kids allowed. It can be a lunch date or picnic. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy but make sure you spice it up once in a while.

You will find lots of great ideas here  on our series from the other 19 mom bloggers sharing their date traditions and activities.

 

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These Date Night Stickers are from a wonderful site Dating Divas. Stop by there to print out your free set!