Things I Did Before Having Kids

I wouldn’t trade my life filled with burps, farts, car noises, wrestling matches, kisses from my little admirers, hand picked wild flowers and sometimes even dead bugs all just for me–for a mundane life of sanity, cleanliness and sleep.

Nope, not this mama. I love my life.

This is just me reminiscing the days from long ago.

Things I Did Before Having Kids

1.Go up and down the grocery store aisles and not worry about leaking from my boobage area because someone else’s baby was crying. Yup, welcome to motherhood.

2. Carry a cute small purse.

3. Not have to sneak out of my bedroom in the morning in fear that I might wake up hungry and needy little children.

4. Wear white.

5. Sleep past the crack of dawn.

6. Pee without an audience.

7. Eat a treat without having to hide it.

8. Think it was weird when a mom was clapping in the stall next to me after her child went potty.

9. Go on a trip with just my tote bag.

10. Leave the house without going through my mental checklist: pacifier, diapers, snacks, hat, jacket–just in case a snow stormed hit in the middle of Spring (don’t laugh, it can happen).

11. Listen to grown up music in the car not the Wiggles.

12. Sit for 10 minutes in my house in absolute silence and not wonder if something terrible is about to happen.

13. Walk into the bathroom without shoes and not wonder and worry about stepping on pee.

14. Eat cereal for every meal.

15. Sleep through the night.

16. Wash loads of laundry without having to check all the pockets for gum, dead bugs, rocks, bones…

17. Go shopping for myself.

18. Wear a two piece bikini. Well, I guess I can’t blame not wearing a two piece on my children since I haven’t worn one since that picture was taken when I was 3 years old. 🙂

19. Sneeze without wondering if on the third sneeze, I’ll ahem… tinkle.

20. Eat a meal without having to stop to help someone, correct someone and/or encourage someone to eat.

21. I could read past chapter 1 of a book.

22. Use real adult phrases like, “I need to go to the bathroom or the ladies room”, instead of “I need to go to the potty.” Yup, I have caught myself saying that amongst other adults when my kids aren’t even around.

23. Go out the door without checking my clothes–particularly around my shoulder area to make sure it’s not covered in spit up.

24. Go to bed at night without replaying the events of the day. Wondering how my son could of fallen while running with that stick in his hand and poked his eyes out. Or knocked one of his friends silly why slinging it around. I’m sure the other moms on the playground thought I was careless….

25. Dream about real vacations not just about going to the grocery store alone.

26. Drink from a normal grown up glass instead of juice boxes even when my kids aren’t around.

27. Go to the grocery store without having to pick up toilet paper. Seriously, who knew how much toilet paper a family of 5 can go through.

28. Go through my cute little purse without having to rummage through cars, rocks, lego men, dead bugs and snacks.

29. Make out on the couch with my hubby without having three little bodies staring at me and making kissing noises.

30. I could look at a wooden stool with a hole in the middle and seriously be confused but now I cringe.

31. Go to real restaurants not places like Chuck E. Cheese or McD’s.