Our marriage gets lost in the sea of daily life–a whining toddler, a tween who won’t take a bath and making sure your stunt man doesn’t fall out of the 12 ft high tree he’s decided to climb. Then there’s the overflowing basket of laundry and dishes, jeans to mend and meals to cook. So, it only seems fair to let hubby fend for himself. After all, he’s a grown man and you’re just one person with 2 or 3 little people vying for your attention.
By the time night comes I’m exhausted. There are rare days when I get a burst of energy and you’ll find me painting, reading or writing, but for the most part I’m tucked away in bed trying to ignore the little voices calling for more water for the 30th time. This is not just me, somedays you’ll find my hubby tucked away in bed, way before I got there.
However, regardless of our circumstances, we have a responsibility to each other. Yes, there are times when we need to give each other grace, but then there comes a point to realize this is my life for the next 10 years and I need to be intentional regardless of our situation. Otherwise, I’ll end up staring at a complete stranger when our kids are gone.
Our words have the power to breathe life into our marriage as well as to destroy it. Let’s start using them for building each other up. So what are these two word statements that will help you transform your marriage and begin to start being intentional? See below and don’t forget to print out the cards. They’re free! I know the title “Transform Your Marriage…” can seem like an overstatement if your marriage is in the pits. But I really think there is power in these simple words–they slowly break down the walls and help us focus on what is good. Which is a start as you move toward reconciliation.
Just to give you a small glimpse into who we are as a couple, this picture speaks louder than words.
I challenge you to say them often, like the actual words.
Some of us like to use the excuse of, “Well, I don’t say those words necessarily but he knows I appreciate it when he helps with the laundry. Or she knows I love her.”
Why not, one statement a day? Try it until you get used to saying more than one a day!
Transform Your Marriage with These Two-Word Statements
See below to get the free printable! These statements can go either way for your husband or wife, but I am sharing them from my perspective as the wife gifting these life-giving words to my husband.
- I forgive… Holding on to grudges will only make you an old, bitter and contentious wife. So, let it go, if you can–not everything needs a discussion. If you can’t, plan a time to discuss it in a healthy way and choose to let it go no matter the outcome of the conversation. Note, prayer is needed for this. It’s only by the power of God that I’ve been able to let go of situations where I’ve felt betrayed or deeply hurt.
- I appreciate… We all want to feel appreciated for our contribution to the family so make a list of the ways you appreciate your husband and let him know. Use the notes I share below to write a note to him.
- I love… What do you love about your man? Be specific. I love how you play with the kids. I love that you work hard for our family.
- I respect… I’m learning how powerful this phrase is to our husbands. Simply say “I respect you” or “I respect you for standing up for what you believe in.” In the book Love and Respect the author shares, “In a national survey done on male-female relationships this question was asked– Even the best relationships sometimes have conflicts on day to day issues. In the middle of a conflict with my wife/significant other, I am more likely to be feeling:
A. that my wife doesn’t respect me right now.
B. that my wife doesn’t love me right now.
Not surprisingly, 81.5 percent chose “(a) that my wife…. doesn’t respect me right now. ” It’s so fascinating to me because it’s not at all how I filter situations (for the most part). I usually feel unloved not disrespected in the midst of conflict.
- You’re mine! Our husbands need to be reminded that you want them. Tell them that you find them sexy, appealing, hot, whether you say it in words or actions…. hint, hint.
- Praying for… Before your husband walks out the door pray together and let him know that you remember his prayer requests by saying, “I’m praying for your meeting today.” We started praying before my hubby left for the day when we first got married and then stopped when our quiver was full. But last year we committed to not leaving the house in the morning unless we’ve prayed together (minus weekends). It’s such a precious time for me.
- Thank you… Being grateful is a life changing attitude adjustment that we sometimes need in our life. So tell your hubby “Thank you for clearing the table.” “Thank you for putting gas in the car.” “Thank you for….” Seriously, it helps if you’re marriage is in the “crazy cycle”. I remember a time when we were way beyond the crazy cycle and I woke up one morning and pleaded to God to help me change my attitude towards him because I was so hurt and mad. I needed to get out of this funk but didn’t know how. I went downstairs and I started to write down how I was thankful for him. At first I couldn’t think of anything because I was still in anger mode but when I started writing down the little things it slowly softened my heart and by the time lunch came around (I was adding to it as I thought about it), I had a list of substantial things.
- Miss you! When you are apart let your hubby know that you miss him, even if you haven’t been counting down the minutes to his arrival. We all want to feel valued and missed, so let him know it.
- Let’s go… Set up a time for the two of you to just go. Let’s go on an adventure. Let’s go on a date. Let’s go get some ice cream. Whatever it may be it’s so important that you make time for each other. Now that my son is 11 years old, what we just started doing is going for a walk around the block while he “babysits”. It’s short, but we get to connect while holding hands and just catch up. So our “Let’s Go” walk around the neighborhood, isn’t very romantic but it helps us connect. I especially like when he takes me away from the “witching hour” zone I find myself in, at that time of the day.
If you’re awful about being intentional like I can be, print out this printable, sign them and write a personal note on them (all a head of time). Then place them somewhere you can see them regularly and then tape them on his bathroom mirror. And it’s even better if you place them where your kids can see it. Your kids need to see how you intentionally love each other. But be sure to follow it up with saying these statements to him so not only is he getting to read it, but now he’s hearing you say it, that’s what I call–double punch impact.
Here’s your free printable. You can download and print as you wish: Two Word Phrases He’ll Love Printable
What two words would you add to the list?