You know those days when the synchronicity of events lines up in all areas of your life? The song that comes on reminds you of what you’ve been trying to ignore, during the whole sermon message you know the pastor was looking directly at you but you shake it off with, “I’m sure I just have a calming face.”, and you go on with mundane events of life.
But then–then the unthinkable happens, your alphabet soup spells out–more God. (not really but I guess it can happen)
You realize then–God is trying to tell me something. He’s been trying to get something through my thick skull.
When I got back from my trip–I was exhausted. I had some down time while I was away. I actually had a lot of down time. I was even blessed to have a sweet family share their ranch home with me to give me some time to just be–but I was still weary. I was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained. My soul cried out for my Creator, my Father, my Abba, but I seriously didn’t know how to pull the emergency brakes, to my busy life. I came back to sick kids, sick hubby, deadlines that needed to be submitted, appointments and meetings that needed to be had and a heart that still needed time to process. Heck, I’d been gone for two weeks, I didn’t have time to sit and be still. In my chaotic state, I was eating every thing in sight.
That deep gnawing feeling of an unsettled heart just wouldn’t go away. Now the restlessness was robbing me of my sleep and my joy, and that’s when I had my “alphabet soup experience”. Deep within me, in the middle of another sleepless night, I knew what I needed to do
It reminds me of these wise words from St. Augustine–
Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.
So, I was determined to fast and pray. During those missed meals, I spent time going through the 7 Day Prayer Warrior Experience by Stormie Omartian and reading scripture, asking God to fill me.
I NEED more of you.
My friends have been doing this liquid detox fast that’s supposed to make one feel more energized and better, I’ve never done one. But let me tell you this kind of fast, where you detox from yourself and get more of Him–restores you to the core.
Since I had started this, I was sleeping better but still not completely. Then I was given the opportunity to have a day to myself while my man and little men went camping. That’s when I was rescued. Rescued from myself. His gentle arms of peace and grace-filled words spilled over to my head penetrating my never-ending thoughts, then it moved downward toward my restless heart and took hold of my busy hands and feet and then–
my body finally relaxed.
My mind was now experiencing peace.
His embrace began it’s gentle work and all I could do was cry. During this time, I journaled, prayed, processed, grieved, prayed some more. I sat on His lap, in His embrace, like the precious daughter that I am–just sitting there whimpering in the arms of my Father. It was beautiful.