It was a crazy December! We were in over our heads with baking this and that and running from one event to another when my husband asked me a simple question.
In the midst of this busyness, if you had asked about my marriage I would have responded with we are doing fine. Because we weren’t necessarily fighting we just weren’t connecting.
In the busyness, our go to mode is “roommate mode” where we just talk about schedules, what needs to be done, the facts, the kids and that’s all the energy we can muster.
Honey, What do You want for Christmas?
So when my husband asked me, “What do you want for Christmas?” I was surprised with my response. I knew I didn’t want another “thing” to occupy space in my house. I didn’t really know what I wanted but what I did know was I wanted more of us together, more of him.
So without much thought I said, “I want a year of dates with you!”
He was a bit confused. But the moment it came out of my mouth I knew that’s exactly what I wanted. So I said to him, “I would absolutely love it if you would give me for Christmas a year of dates planned by you.”
He said, “Okay, but I need more information!” So I guided him with more information and he took off with the idea.
He was pretty secretive about his planning so I was ecstatic and couldn’t wait for Christmas to see my gift.
When I opened my gift I was so impressed with what he’d created.
My husband doesn’t have an inch of desire to be creative so when he handed me handmade envelopes made from pretty paper with ribbon and not 12 brown lunch bags that had been duct taped, I was flabbergasted.
Actually, if it would’ve been 12 napkins that had been duct taped together with scribbled date ideas on them I would’ve still loved it. I loved that our kids were watching the example he is setting for them of what a healthy marriage should look like.
Let’s give our kids a peek into what it looks like to have a marriage where you laugh, play, talk, and work life’s difficulties out–TOGETHER! It will impact them forever to see how you deliberately make time to play and love each other.
Growing Old With You– A Year of Dates
And that’s how our year of dates started! It has continued on for 3 years in the midst of an international move, daily life, stressful seasons, health issues and life as we know it.
We had to decide what we wanted at the end of life: two people who had grown old together as partners, or two people who had grown old alone. Of course all marriages start with the intention of growing old together, but that means more than simply sharing the same street address. Keeping each other a priority in the whirlwind of careers, activities, and responsibilities will not happen by default. It’s time to start growing old . . . together.” ~ via D. Rainey Family Life
We have tried to be intentional with dating each other but honestly when life gets busy we miss weeks of dates, then it takes us another month to get back to it and then before you know it’s a big holiday and we’re off our schedule again.
Had It Not Been Pre-planned it Would NOT Have Happened
There have been many times when the last thing we have the energy to do is plan a date but because we had pre-planned these dates we made ourselves go out. Sometimes it would start quiet and awkward but we always ended up remembering how to laugh, play and talk with one another.
Every. Single. Time. we walked away thankful we made ourselves hit pause and enjoy each others company.
We’d end up laughing, sharing our fears, dreams, just playing and sometimes I have to admit there were tears as we stopped to process the hardships TOGETHER.
We have learned that we need to pick out a “date day”. We look at our schedules and decide a tentative day we’ll do our dates on. So for awhile what worked for us was last Saturday afternoon of the month. So we knew not to make plans on the last Saturday of the month because that’s our date day.
My Husband Would Never Make This
Some of you might be saying, “My husband would never make this for me.” I get that.
So why don’t you make it and give it to him for Christmas.
Let’s pursue our spouse! Don’t wait for him to do the planning (I know it’s lovely to be wooed but sometimes it just doesn’t happen) so why don’t you get it started and set it up yourself. It’s your gift to him.
I have a 12 Months of Dates kit in my shop with labels and stuff to help you or your spouse think through each date. It comes with 12 months of labels, 12 date cards, 35+ date ideas, a date planning sheet where you can see all 12 dates on one sheet and same for you to write down the sitter’s name and conversation starters. I’ve thought of all the things we learned while doing this and put it together for you in this kit.
This year in 2018, I am going to make a year of dates to give to my man!
How To Make A Year of Dates Gift
It’s really easy and you don’t need much. You can make it on your own or you can use our 12 Months of Dates Kit!
- Note cards or index cards
Get your calendar out and plan it now! You don’t have to have every detail in place but go ahead and start writing a date for this month and let your creative juices go as you write out your date for the month of March, then April.
If you’re struggling with coming up with ideas just print off the FREE printable I share with you below with over 35 ideas or purchase my 12 Months of Dates Kit HERE. Think about the things you like doing. It doesn’t matter if you don’t enjoy the same things. You can try new things or be flexible and enter into each others world. That may mean you’re planning an Xbox video game night for him as a date and he’s going to see a ballet the next month because you enjoy that.
Below is another example of one my husband made for us last year in 2017.
Write out a month on each index card and then add a date idea below it. Make it as plain or pretty as you’d like.
Why I’m Giving It Back to My Husband
A friend recently lost her husband and one of the things she said was, “He loved me well. We did life together!” After pondering her statement with a friend I decided I was going to give this gift back to my husband this Christmas.
Below is the one I’m giving my husband for Christmas this year using the 12 Months of Date kit. I used plain brown envelopes and hole punched 2 holes to the end of the 12 envelopes to tie a ribbon through them. I filled out each month with a date using some of the ideas from the “Fun Date Ideas”, put the card back in the envelope and wait for the fun to begin.
We all want to keep the spark going in our marriages so let’s start now and connect with our spouses.
To download your fabulous date night ideas FREE printable below click here: Fun Date Ideas