One of the things I love about Latin America, is all of the fresh fruit juice stands that you can find at the park, the market, on the street corner, well you can pretty much find them all over the place.  My favorite mix is strawberries and freshly squeezed oranges.  I would never have put that combo together on my own, but I love it!

My kids get a huge smile on their face when they see me bring this out at breakfast but it’s great for anytime of the day.

Ingredients:

1 cup of chopped strawberries

2 cps of orange juice freshly squeezed or your favorite store bought brand

1 tbl of honey or sugar

icecubes ( I like a lot because I like mine extra crunchy)

Mix it all in a blender!

For a creamy healthy drink add 1 cup strawberry yogurt to the mix or for the not so healthy version add 1 scoop of ice cream and top with whip cream. I personally like it with just the fresh strawberries and juice but I am sure if you put both of them in front of me and asked me to pick one on a hot summers day I would probably go with the naughty version.

Contributing Artist: Kathleen Ang-Dalseno

You can visit Kathleens printable art at her new website here.

~I find that sometimes in the world wide web it’s easy to forget these wise words on LOVE.

God has called us to be a beacon of light, love, excellence and grace…… in this world. But because we don’t have a face to face encounter with a person or a relationship with the owner of that blog or the facebook page  it’s gotten easier to be down right mean.  We need Grace.  It’s easy to say something judgemental while we hide behind our screen.  Accountability is lacking, I can simply click on POST, PUBLISH, TWEET, SEND….. on my not so kind note and leave it as anonymous or use an alias name.  Commitment is lacking.  It’s easy to back out of something when all I have to do is text you and say “sorry can’t make it” even though it’s last minute and people were counting on you.  Respect is forgotten, when I don’t have to look at you in the eyes and see that you are human too and that my snarky comment, stung like salt on an open wound. We need love, I need to share the love.

Let’s remember these wise words on how we are to treat one another.

There is also something to be said for emails, fb post, text…. that you wrote and were totally misunderstood, or taken out of context but we will leave that for another day.  This article was not written as a result of a bad personal experience but, unfortunately, I have come across lots of nasty remarks as I peruse blogs, facebook….

Thanks to God up until now,  I have had wonderful readers who fill our e-zine with encouraging words and wise thoughts.  Keep it coming, I love reading your comments and emails!~ Words from the editor

First, a blogging tip:

I wanted to share with you blogging tips that I have learned throughout my blogging and e-zine journey.  They may come once a week, once a month or even twice a week.  I am not sure, I will just go with the flow on this. Be rest assured, that I am still learning right along with you!

Even though we are an e-zine not a blog I did dabble in the blogging world before diving into the E-zine world.  Actually, I still blog for myself and my family when I have time, which means not often.  The above tip is something I see newbie bloggers and even from those who have been blogging for years, do.  If most bloggers are anything like me, when I click on a link and it takes me to another blog this is how I get “oooh, ahhhh, I want to see how she did that, oh wait, I want to pin that…”  Before I know it, I forgot that I was ever on your blog.

Guess what?

You lost a reader, not because their content was better but because one can easily get distracted when surfing the internet.

Now onto some blogging humor:What would you add to the “You know you’re a blogger if….? 

We appreciate having you alongside of us as we journey together through life and family, GRACIAS!

The winner of the SIGNED copy of  Savvy Grandmother is Vi Brooks! Congrats!

You have until May 30th at 9a.m. central to claim your prize. Contact me via email or Facebook.

In Marty Norman’s new book, The Savvy Grandmother: Constructing a Legacy of Faith, she once again dishes out countless pieces of meaningful advice and encouragement for grandmothers. This time, the focus is on sharing faith where it counts—the very heart of every grandmother—with her grandchildren. Explore how she does it, and learn from the mouths of her grandkids how they feel about it all! Discover the joy of knowing you’ve made a difference; join so many others who have already found inspiration and motivation from author Marty Norman.

The winners of the BeYOUtiful Mom Printable from our BeYoutiful Mom Series made for this series by Kathleen from Amen Printable is

 Megan Paulos Blethen and email subscriber frugalmeme! Congrats!

Thank you Marty & Kathleen for the fabulous prizes, such a great way to end our BeYoutiful Mom Series!

My email for you to contact if yu won is: inspiredbyfamilymag@yahoo.com

If you didn’t win but would like to purchase your own copy of the above prizes check out the links below:

Printable Artwork at Amen Scripture or now you can get the artwork on mugs, t-shirts, stationery… here

The Savvy Grandmother

Spinach and Bacon Stuffed Shells
Makes 12 stuffed shells

Ingredients: 

12-14 pasta shells (you need 12 but cook a couple extra just in case some break)

8 oz frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed

5-6 slices of bacon, crispy and broken in pieces

8 oz Ricotta cheese

1 tbs minced fresh Parsley

1/2 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese, to mix in

1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese, for topping

1 1/2 cups (2 if you like it saucy) of Marinara sauce

Salt, pepper to taste

Directions:

1.  Cook the pasta shells according to the package, drain and set aside. (rinsing with cold water will help to keep the shells from sticking to each other)

2. Preheat the oven to 350.

3. In a medium mixing bowl, combine the ricotta cheese, spinach, bacon pieces, parsley, mozzarella cheese, salt and pepper. Mix until evenly incorporated.

4. Spread 1/2 cup of Marinara sauce on the bottom of the casserole dish. (I used 8 1/2 x 6 1/2 size casserole dish)

5. Carefully stuff the shells with the spinach/cheese mixture. Lay the shells in the casserole dish. It will fit 12.

6. Spread the remaining Marinara sauce over the shells. Sprinkle with shredded Parmesan cheese.

7. Bake for 25-30 minutes.

Enjoy!!

Lyuba Brooke is an author and creator of Will Cook For Smiles. She enjoys coming up with new creations for her husband and son and hearing all the yummy noise while they eat! She loves sharing all her recipes and especially loves knowing that they are being used.

Contributing Writer: Virginia Davidson

I have an obsession with kid and teaching supplies.  I used to teach, so I guess it’s the leftovers of that.  Anyway, I still get all of the magazines, and something similar to this came in one of them.  I can’t say I invented it, but my hubby sure made if for $$$ cheaper than what was in the catalog!  (We also don’t need to serve 12 kids!)

the inspiration from Adventurous Child

When you’re done with this all that you’ll need is your camera, a hose, towel and art supplies.

• Wolmanized lumber 2×4 (3~3′ and 2~6′)
• Deck Screws – stainless steel 8×2-1/2 – so they don’t rust
• Plexiglass ~ we used 1/8″ thick(go to your local glass shop to purchase) We used 26×37″ measure your own to find exact fit.
• Level/straight edge
• Table Saw or skill saw (circular saw)
• Mitre Box
• Drill (screwdriver)
• Paint
• Shovel

 2 - Lay out your pieces.

7 – 27.5″ down screw on the last 3′ piece with the groove facing up (this is what hold the plexiglass in place.  (Again make sure that the bottom groove lines up with the side grooves – this is where the plexiglass will slide down and sit)

8 – Measure to find out exact measurement of glass.

• Use old fence posts.
• Put hooks on the side to hold shower caddies to hold your stuff!
• Make a base for it instead of putting it in the ground.
• Build a shelf on the bottom to hold items.
• Make cup holders in the bottom.
• Put an awning on it.
• You get the drift! 
• Puppet show (take out plexiglass and velcro some fabric to the bottom)

Taco Salad is one of those recipes that everyone you know makes differently.  I have had many Taco Salads over the years and kind of just combined all my favorite ingredients out of them and made my own recipe.  I make this salad a lot in the summer!  Give it a try and let me know what you think.

• 1 Lb. lean ground beef
• 1 package taco seasoning, reserving 1 Tbs. for dressing, I use Taco Bell Taco seasoning pack
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 – 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed, pinto would also be fine
• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 2 – hearts of romaine, washed dried and chopped into bite sized pieces
• 2 green onions, sliced
• 1 – 2.25 oz. can of sliced olives
• 1 avocado, diced
• tomatoes are totally optional – I don’t like them so I don’t eat them.  I do however eat plenty of fresh salsa
• tortilla chips

• 1 cup light sour cream
• 1 Tbs. taco seasoning – reserved from package
• 1/2 cup salsa, any type

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mix the salad to incorporate the dressing and serve.  I always crush up a handful of tortilla chips and place right on top of my salad before eating, that way they stay nice and crunchy.  I serve the rest of the dressing on the side because I don’t like to overdress salads.

Serves 4 – 6

Enjoy!

Marty Norman has moved forward in obedience with the big dreams God has put on her heart! She is now giving away a signed copy of her book to encourage you in your walk.  A lucky Inspired by Family Facebook friend will receive a copy.  See below for details.~

Featured Author: Marty Norman

Life has a funny way of grabbing you when you least expect it. At least that’s how it is for me. Sometimes an experience or picture instantly touches the heart, resulting in revelation. Other times, the process of repetition is the catalyst that changes behavior.

But while my timeline on earth has shortened, my message has crystallized. I think about life differently. My focus is on eternity—there is nothing else.

As a grandmother, everything I do is geared in that direction.

Recently my youngest son turned forty. I wanted to leave him a legacy that had meaning for eternity so I made him a scrapbook, “Four Decades of Darin”. 

Using the old-fashioned, cut and paste method, I traced his life from birth to 40 years, capturing his unique essence as well as years of memories. I also wanted to speak blessing and the Word of God over him and his family so I chose specific scriptures and promises and put them under pictures and events to which they applied.

Creativity is my skill. Long ago, I discovered I’m better at writing than speaking. There’s something about transposing thoughts to paper that brings clarity. When I do so the Lord refines the words. Somehow, the keyboard and the Lord filter out the impurities and make it better. This was no different.     

Because texting and emails have made letter writing a dying art, my husband and I decided to include handwritten letters, telling him how proud we are of him and how much he means to us.

I know millions of grandmothers feel the same. I’m no different than they. You can find us everywhere, a generation of godly women who live by faith and biblical principles, women who walk with the Savior daily, passing on the love of Christ and their faith to others. As savvy grandmothers, we compile and share our testimonies and stories, using them to inspire and encourage those that intersect our world.

That’s why I wrote my book “The Savvy Grandmother – Building A Legacy Of Faith”, to encourage grandmothers to get their stories down as a legacy for future generations. Learning to tell our stories is a skill to be practiced, kind of like learning to dive off the high board.

One of the examples I give in the book is “One Brave Dude”, a trilogy in pictures that chronicles the journey of my grandson, Strother, as he took his first jump off the high board at age two and a half. A picture of trust and courage, it stands out as a metaphor for the faith walk.

In the first photo, Strother walks to the edge of the board, fear evident in his balancing arms and concentrating eyes. As he peers over the edge in the second picture, one can imagine his thought processes: What am I doing here? Kind of like when we peer into the unknown and ask, “Lord, are you sure about this?

In photo three, Strother, suspended in midair, has terror written all over his face. We, however, see from a larger perspective that which he does not yet see. There, in the water below, is his father, treading water, waiting with outstretched arms. He reaches out to catch his child the moment he enters the pool.

Isn’t that how the Lord is with us?

Standing with outstretched arms, our heavenly Father is waiting in the water below to catch us when we jump.

Each of us has a testimony of when we jumped and how God caught us.

A story of brokenness, we are witnesses to his outstretched arms, even in the worst of circumstances.

Eyewitnesses to the power of forgiveness, our testimony stands as a model.

For me, the story of my marriage, separation and reconciliation is a story to be passed on to the next generation, for it shows the mercy and faithfulness of God. I want to be sure my children and grandchildren know that part of my life.  I want them to know it happened, what the pitfalls were. But more importantly I want them to know there is a savior to whom they, too, can turn in such a time, whose outstretched arms are waiting to catch them when they fall or jump. One who heals wounds and restore relationships.

Now that’s a picture worth grabbing and taking hold.  Hopefully my testimony will one day impact the lives of my children and grandchildren, change behavior and make a difference for eternity.

Excerpts from “The Savvy Grandmother – Building A Legacy Of Faith”

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Book Giveaway details: One lucky Inspired by Family Facebook friend will have the opportunity to win a SIGNED copy of her fabulous book!, The Savvy Grandmother! A week from today we will announce the winner.  If you haven’t liked us on Facebook stop by and join in the fun!

~~~~~~

For free printable right click on image and copy and paste into your document & print!

Marty Norman M.Ed. is a published author, licensed therapist, workshop trainer, inspirational speaker, free-lance writer, mother of two, and grandmother of five.  Marty’s book “The Savvy Grandmother – Building A Legacy of Faith” was released in May 2012. Her first book “Generation G – Advice for Savvy Grandmothers Who Will Never Grow Gray was released in March 2008 by Thomas Nelson. She also sends out a monthly “Savvy Grandmother Newsletter” which can be accessed through her website www.martynorman.com.

images via flickr: Chris JL, notashamed, Nina Matthews

Facebook is not sponsoring this giveaway.

Since I love wearing dresses I have to find ways to dress them down when they don’t scream summer. Is your closet filled with nice dresses that you bought for that one banquet or that one fancy dinner?

I bought a fancy (not formal) dress on the sale rack over Christmas. And I hoped that I could use it for some fun outing but once I had it on I realized the fabric was too fancy for anything that I would attend. So I dressed it down with a jean jacket and boots and on another occasion with a cardigan and boots.

Here are some tips on  how to dress down your fancy dresses so that you can use them all year long.

1. Pair up the dress with sandals and a jean jacket or cardigan.

2. Belt it!

3. Scarf! A simple not too fancy scarf is a another great accessory to utilize to help hide the bling  bling around the neckline on your dress.

4.  Boot it!  If you are not into cowboy boots just use another type of plain boots.

5. If the occasion is not fancy but also not too casual (you know that in between I don’t know what to wear event) then use accessories to dress it up and your shoes to dress it down as shown above.

Featured Writer: Beth Saavedra

Since my wedding day (that oft cited standard of ideal female weight), I’ve gained over thirty pounds. I’ve also launched a professional career, borne four children, made an international move, gained reasonable fluency in a second language, and read enough books to fill a truck bed.

So why is it that I often feel defined by my weight gain and not those other milestones?

Why does concern/worry/despair about my body take up so much of my thought life?

That’s valuable brain real estate I could really be using for other purposes!

If I could pick up all the thoughts I’ve wasted on dissatisfaction with my body, pack those thoughts into a ball, and weigh it on a scale, there would be a lot of energy represented in that sphere. Wouldn’t that energy be better used on improving my guitar playing, painting pictures with my kids, making love to my husband? If I stopped thinking about my body and just starting living in it, inhabiting it, how much more energy would I have to spend on beautiful, live-giving pursuits?

If you’re reading this, hoping for step-by-step instructions for healing your self-image… well, you and me, both! I am right there in the middle of the mess, taking a few steps forward, then crumbling back into a weepy heap of self-reproach for eating that second (third, fourth) helping of chocolate ice cream. If the answers were simple and one-size-fits-all, there would be a lot more confident, trim ladies in the world.

My sister, who is younger than me and often wiser, likes to label issues like these as “first-world problems.” And that is a needed corrective, because in this South American city where I live, I can look out the window of my car any day and see short, squat indigenous ladies, with babies tied to their backs, selling candies and gum, along with magazines often sporting a European cover model. I wonder if these dark-skinned Ecuadorian ladies think about wanting to look like the women in the magazines they sell. All the plastic surgery in the world wouldn’t turn them into that standard of six-foot-tall, white-skinned beauty, and in any case, it’s more likely they’re thinking about whether they will earn enough today to put dinner on the table tonight.

First world problems… There’s nothing wrong with desiring health, strength and energy. But when my mind is consumed with an elusive ideal of beauty, when I could be focusing my drives in so many more productive, more long-lasting and valuable areas, I need (and want!) a reality check. My husband has requested one reality check: no beauty magazine in this house (and no reading People magazine on the internet either!). We’ve found that I’m a much happier, more contended camper when I don’t dwell on all that false advertising.

Here is a secret that is changing the way I live in the body God has given me:

But all of us who are Christians have no veils on our faces, but reflect like mirrors the glory of the Lord. We are transfigured by the Spirit of the Lord in ever-increasing splendor into his own image. (2 Corinthians 3:18).

When I spend time looking at Jesus, looking at the splendor of who God is (instead of looking at airbrushed, impossibly beautiful models on magazines), I start to reflect his beauty in clearer ways. And isn’t this what brings true joy?

 More important than a beautiful body, I want an entire life made beautiful by God.

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If you have enjoyed Inspired by Family and you don’t want to miss an article in our series beYoutiful Mom click here to get our updates!

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Beth Saavedra is an avid fan of her husband, the band U2, chocolate and the Bible. She loves her four kiddos more than life itself. Beth makes her messy, friend-filled home in Ecuador. You can read her missionary newsletters at http://saavedrastories.blogspot.com.

images via flicker- White Ribbon, not sure who to credit for cartoon that has been circulating on the internet

1) Kiss The Challenge: Pectorals, back, triceps, abdominals, glutes

Focus: Pectoral and abdominal toning. This is a push-up stroller style. Step away from the stroller and angle your body to the ground. Have your hands on the handle bar in front of you. Keep your legs tight but do not lock your knees. Lower your body towards the handle bars. Elbows should bend at 90 degrees when bent. Push your body back to starting position.

DO: 3 sets of 12-15*

REMEMBER: Put the lock on the stroller wheels so your baby doesn’t run away from you!

X-TRA: Change positions by putting your feet up on the front of the stroller and your hands on the ground. This will make a decline push up position.

2) Military Crunch: Abdominals, obliques, quadriceps

Focus: Abdominal toning. Stand with stroller in front of you with both hands on the handle bars. As you walk bring your right knee up towards your left shoulder. Move forward alternating legs as you crunch those abdominals.

DO: 3 sets of 12-15* on each side

X-TRA: Go up a steep hill while doing this exercise.

8) Tickle Toes: Obliques, abdominals, back, shoulders

Focus: Abdominal toning. Sit on the ground in front of your stroller. Put a foot on either side of a front wheel. Lean back engaging your abs with a toy or a weight in your hands.

Twist to the left with both arms straight and pointing towards the ground.

As you come up out of the right side lift the toy/weight above your head in play with your baby.

Bring it back down to the right side and twist.

DO: Alternate sides for 3 sets of 8-12* sit ups each side.

9) No Lazy Kick Back: glutes, abdominals, hamstrings, back

Focus: Leg and back toning. As you walk forward lift your left leg straight out behind you. Pulse it 3 times.

Step the raised leg to the ground as you walk forward so the right leg can lift behind and pulse 3 times. Alternate sides keeping abdominals in tight and back as upright as possible with minimum leaning towards the ground.

DO: 3 sets of 8-12* reps for each leg.

X-TRA: Circle the leg once it is lifted backwards in small circles for a count of 8. Try large circles as well for a count of 8 and reverse direction.

10) Scratched Disk: Abdominals, quadriceps, glutes

Focus: Quadricep toning. Walk forward with the stroller in front of you. When you take a step lift knee up as high as you can and pulse it upward between 90 degrees and as high as you can lift it for 8 counts.

Never lower the raised knee less than 90 degrees to the ground until you have done all the repetitions. Example: Lift leg 90 degrees pulse it higher and back down to 90 degrees (without lowering leg to the ground) and that counts as 1 repetition. Keep the leg up until all repetitions are completed for that particular set.

DO: 3 sets of 8-12* repetitions on each leg. Walk forward and repeat alternating sides. Repeat for 3 sets with 30 second walking break in between sets.

REMEMBER: It will be as challenging as you make it. Continue pulsing until you feel the burn and keep on for a few more pulses.

X-TRA: To add some love handle exercises rotate the bent knee to the side after you lift it forward in a circular motion.

*This is an average amount of reps. Do the amount for your fitness level. If it is easy add some reps or an extra set. If you find it too hard and can’t complete all the sets do less but always challenge yourself.

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For the other great articles on our beYOUtiful Mom Series.

If you would like to receive our other fabulous articles, click here.

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Alaina Holland- I live in Ecuador mentoring international youth alongside my wise husband.  Mother of a sweet 7 month old baby boy.  I enjoy staying home with my boys, having a deep conversation over a cup of tea, scrapbooking, exercising, and pointing others to the all satisfying God.  I blog over at lorenholland.blogspot.com

One of our favorite desserts is banana bread, especially if there are chocolate chips added in. Making several loaves at a time to give away is a great memory I have from my childhood. I remember my mother would let me help her wrap the loaves with a pretty bow on top. I think this is where my love for beautiful gift wrap began. But I’m sure this is where my love for banana bread also came into play.

I recently came across peanut butter chips at the store and knew I
wanted to try to incorporate them into our bread. The combination of
bananas, chocolate chips, and peanut butter is delicious! Since my
children enjoy desserts they can hold I ended up making muffins instead
of a loaf of bread.

Peanut Butter & Chocolate Banana Muffins

• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1/3 cup of melted butter
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips
• 1/2 peanut butter chips
• 1 cup mashed bananas (about 3-4 bananas)
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 3/4 sugar
• 1 egg

In a small bowl combine flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder. Set aside. Mix together bananas, butter, sugar, and egg in a large bowl. Slowly incorporate the flour mixture in. Once the batter is mixed together fold in the peanut butter and chocolate chips. Add batter to a greased muffin tin or use cupcake liners.

Bake at 350 for 18-20 minutes.

Hi my name is Crystal and I am a stay at home mom of 3, wife, and blogger. I love creating inexpensive crafts, DIY projects, and delicious recipes. My days are filled with picnics, play dates, and soccer games. When I’m not busy taking care of my family I spend my time crafting and sharing tutorials that will hopefully inspire others to live a creative lifestyle as well. You can find my blog at A Pumpkin and A Princess

Do you think it’s gross or just darling?

This is how we roll: We don’t, but we do.  When I watched our 5yr old go straight for his kindergartens teachers lips that’s when I realized that maybe we should stop the kissing on the lips thing in our family because even though we told him you only kiss us on the lips he still equated it to, you only kiss people you love on the lips. He was going around kissing all his loved ones (not in our family) on the lips.

Shortly, after that it was his birthday so we thought this was a good way to introduce the “you’re six now and now we are going to kiss on the cheeks because you are a big boy now.”  Since then, we officially don’t kiss on the lips but sometimes when we say goodnight he goes straight for the lips and that’s okay. We probably would have kept kissing on the lips if it wasn’t so confusing for our son.

The important thing is making sure you are kissing them, hugging them and cherishing them even if they are pass that chubby cheeks stage and are now in that “one minute I like you and the next I don’t” tween stage.

I still have one in that chubby cheeks stage, and I kiss him on the cheeks, on the lips, on his forehead, his toes and his hands.  I can kiss his little chubby face all day!  I just can’t help myself, well, there are times when I can; like this morning, when his snot was flowing and I saw his little face coming straight for my lips.

Do you kiss on the lips in your familia? Do you still kiss your parents on the lips? Do you have an age when you feel like you should stop kissing your kids on the lips?

Featured Writer: Alia Hagenbach

Some of the first advice I received years ago as a first time mom was “pick your battles.“  Being a first time mom, I was determined to do an amazing  job. I read the parenting books. I got this, I thought.  I watched the temper tantrums that occurred  in grocery check-outs over skittles and lollipops and vowed that my child would be well-disciplined, respectful, and obedient.

I couldn’t even fathom what the battles would be at that point. I wish I could go back and  tell my 21-year-old self what I know now. Relax.

Fast forward two years and we are in Safeway, waiting for our prescription to be filled. Judah had developed another ear infection that wouldn’t go away. We had completely skipped his afternoon nap to take him to the doctor.  We are finally checking out and he sees the M&M’s by the register. He begins to howl for them. HOWL. Like a tormented creature from the underworld. A screeching, thunderous assault on everyone’s eardrums. He is turning a purplish red with rage. Tears and snot are flowing down those cheeks. I want to grab a bag and just shut him up but I can see everyone’s eyes on me.

The gauntlet has been thrown. Will ghetto mom with  the three-day old greasy ponytail and sweats give in to her screaming brat and reward him with candy?

I want to explain. He’s not usually like this. He has an ear infection and is in pain. He’s overtired from skipping his nap. He’s hungry from being in the store so long after coming from the doctors. I begin to babble some sort of explanation and grab the bag of candy. The old lady in line behind me raises her eyebrows and purses her lips in disapproval of my pitiful mothering skills. I am shamed and embarrassed by my child’s behavior. I’m embarrassed by the fact that I’m embarrassed. I rush to the car and buckle him in. By the time I have emptied my cart and start the car, he is sound asleep with dried tears and snot covering his cheeks. He is doing the snuffle cry breathing from all the screaming. He hasn’t touched the M&M’s. 

 Everything about mothering was a battle for me. I was so focused on being a good mother that I completely shut out the intuitive nature of being a mommy.

I cared that he would be spoiled. I cared that he was too noisy in restaurants even if he wasn’t misbehaving. The very child-likeness of him offended and embarrassed me when I was around others. Unless their children seemed to behave worse than mine, then I felt a sense of pride that at least my child  wasn’t  like that.

He was loud and busy. A mass of running, curious energy, assaulting me with all his questions and driving me to be ever shushing him. The child that was quirky and silly, with a quick wit and hilarious one liners , and whom I enjoyed when we were alone, became too much for me in the company of others. I was stressed and didn’t differentiate between childishness  and  disobedience.

A constant flow of correction would come from me that had nothing to do with  actual bad behavior or sin on his part. 

I equated being a good mother with superficial things like outward immediate obedience. Good mothers had children who came when they were called, never interrupted or asked for anything twice when already told “no,” and never ran around like wild animals.

When Judah was in the kindergarten class at our church, I volunteered to teach in the Sunday school. There was one particular boy who was homeschooled. His parents obviously spent a lot of time teaching him.  He was like a pint-sized theologian who had some sort of talent for knowing every Bible story in-depth. He always had the memory verse to recite. He raised his hand at every question. He followed orders and lined up when I told him to. He said, “Yes, Mrs. Hagenbach,” when he was asked to do something. He called people sir and ma’am. He always said, “Please and thank  you.”  He irked me. Granted he was five and surely his parents were somewhat to blame for his impeccable manners but still.

You might think it strange that I was bothered by such a display of obedience but the truth is, he was self-righteous, even at five. Outwardly, I could find no obvious fault. But he smirked when someone else got the answer wrong or stumbled over a verse only to shoot up his hand to remedy the error. He elaborated on the Bible stories with fact after fact but didn’t get along with the other kids. He admonished the other kids in class if they spoke of a tv show they had seen or video games they had played. He told everyone that his parents didn’t believe in tv, or sugar, or public school. Constantly implying that you were somehow less righteous if you did watch cartoons, eat ice cream or were not home schooled. His parents were raising a pharisee.

I often think of that boy when I decide which battles to fight. When I am worn out from disciplining my kids and things come out of my mouth like, ” don’t wipe your booger on your brother, that’s not funny,” or, “stop peeing in the yard!”  I have to ask myself have I been picking too many battles. Is it a heart issue?  Is it dangerous to them? Are they sinning?  Am I simply disciplining because I am annoyed by them?

Is this the cleaning of the inside or the outside of the cup? If I only concentrate on cleaning the outside, then my children will be fabulously behaved for now. They will give me pride and not embarrass me in public but their hearts will probably be full of hypocrisy.

If I clean the inside, I will have fewer battles. I’ll save my energy for the bigger heart issues and sins, and yes, my children will sometimes embarrass me. But not because they’re unloving, judgmental, or cruel. They often embarrass me because they have been known to run around like wild animals, or interrupt occasionally, or to copy my sense of humor, which should not be repeated in public, lest someone think our whole family a bit off.

I stop to ask myself, why is this worth dealing with? If it’s pride [what will this look like to someone]  I try to extend grace.

 I find I enjoy them so much more when I am allowing them the grace to be themselves in all of their own glorious awkward individuality and picking my battles only over the things that fit in the cup.

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Alia is a grace saved, much forgiven, wife to Josh, and home school momma to 3 beautiful children. She would consider herself a coffee dependent, writer of random musings at Narrow Paths to Higher Places, and attempter of all things crafty. She has a heart to see God glorified in the seemingly mundane and to allow the trials of her life to point to His infinite grace.