We were gathered around the family table when my middle child nonchalantly said, “I’m more like daddy?” I wondered what he meant so I asked curiously, “In what way are you more like daddy?” He replied by showing me the color of his skin and putting it against mind then he said, “I’m white like daddy.”
I thought about his comment and for the first time it hit me, they are starting to process and observe the world around them. Maybe he had been doing it before but this was the first time he had verbalized it. All of this gathering of information and ideas were starting to take root as he tried to figure out his own personal identity.
Not too long ago the colorblind movement was some thing well meaning parents and teachers practiced and some still do. We thought if we didn’t draw attention to color, our kids wouldn’t notice it or begin to create division in their mind. As a mother who is raising three boys in a multiracial home I’ll be the first to tell you they do notice color. They do notice differences. The only difference is that many times when they are little they don’t attach the same stereotypes, generalizations and prejudices to those differences as adults do, but they do notice. In their observations, they are trying to understand the meaning of the difference and that’s where we come in to guide them.
Just like my 3 year old was trying to figure out what color he most identifies with, other children also notice color. My son wasn’t saying he is white like his daddy because he thinks it’s more superior he was just expressing a fact, he is indeed fair skinned like his daddy. When conversations like this come up we have the opportunity to guide and ask questions, “What else do you notice about daddy? Why do you think mommy’s skin color is different than yours?” Sometimes we think it’s not important to talk about race because they are too little and we don’t want to encourage our children to start creating division, but we need to because developmentally at this age there little minds are forming their first conclusions about race.
It’s okay to notice skin color. What’s not okay is to pretend color doesn’t exist. It’s the way you acknowledge color, and how you react, that makes you embrace race, hide from it, or run from it.” ~via Ashley Texler
Research shows that it’s impossible to be colorblind. Kids as early as the age of 3 notice it and our brains are wired to notice it. So it’s okay when your child asks about the black lady or the yellow man or the pink woman. Don’t hush them but instead embrace those questions and teach them how to ask those questions in a respectful way. Use them as opportunities to do what many of you are already doing–there is much more important things to focus on. Celebrate the difference, embrace the colors and talk about them so they can learn how to defend others and/or themselves when they come upon the cruel world of inequality and racism. Model it and ensure racial integration with your own circle of friends.
We might imagine we’re creating color-blind environments for children, but differences in skin color or hair or weight are like differences in gender—they’re plainly visible. Race itself has no ethnic meaning per se—but children’s brains are noticing skin-color differences and trying to understand their meaning.” via Newsweek (great article by the way for further reading)
As a Latina woman growing up in Texas where there is a lot of racial tension between the Hispanics and n0n-Hispanics and experiencing it first hand, I highly encourage you to openly talk to children about color. God loves variety and I can’t imagine living in world without color and diversity. I truly believe this and I share this from my heart with my kids.
What I Want My Multicultural Kids to Know About Skin Color
I want my kids to know that when I look in the mirror, I do indeed, see brown skin.
I love my brown skin. I haven’t always loved it because of the stereotypes that came with it, but I’ve risen above the ignorance and I’ve learned to love my skin.
I am proud of my Mexican heritage and I hope they grow up loving and celebrating the diversity they were gifted with, being born into our family. I hope they learn to love all of the parts of who they are.
I want them to know the color of our skin never tells the whole story of a person.
My skin color and culture does not define me even though it’s a deep part of me.
I want them to know we do not associate worth or equate status to some one based on their color. I want them to know you don’t look down on somebody because they are pink or white or look up to someone just because they are yellow or brown.
Though we have good intentions when we hush our kids when they notice color, what we are really doing is a disservice to our society and generation.
Shushing children when they make an improper remark is an instinctive reflex, but often the wrong move. Prone to categorization, children’s brains can’t help but attempt to generalize rules from the examples they see. It’s embarrassing when a child blurts out, “Only brown people can have breakfast at school,” or “You can’t play basketball; you’re white, so you have to play baseball.” But shushing them only sends the message that this topic is unspeakable, which makes race more loaded, and more intimidating.”
4 Things You Can do To Start Talking About Color
- Have open dialogue. Don’t shame them for their incorrect perceptions instead guide them and model positive conversations about this topic. Ask them how can we celebrate the differences in our school, community, world?
- Discuss the distinctions but make sure you share the message that it doesn’t equate status, success or intellect.
- Read books with kids from other races in them. But make sure you don’t always read books about poor Hispanics or rich Asians so they don’t equate poverty with Latinos.
- Go to festivals or establishments that celebrate different cultures. I know many cities will have Irish festivals, Cuban music festivals, Greek festivals, Black History month readings… Maybe even a small ethnic foods restaurant or store where you can interview the owner.
We are so excited for our FIFTH annual Hispanic Heritage Month series and giveaway! Through the month (September 15 – October 15), you’ll find great resources to share Hispanic Heritage with kids, plus you can enter to win in our great giveaway and link up your own posts on Hispanic Heritage!
September 14
Hanna Cheda on Multicultural Kid Blogs: How to Pass on Hispanic Heritage as an Expat
September 15
Spanish Mama: Los Pollitos Dicen Printable Puppets
September 16
Hispanic Mama: Children’s Shows that Kids in Latin America Grew Up With
September 19
Spanish Playground: Authentic Hispanic Heritage Month Games Everyone Can Play
September 20
Tiny Tapping Toes: Exploring Instruments for Hispanic Heritage Month
September 21
Kid World Citizen on Multicultural Kid Blogs: 10 Fascinating Facts about Peru!
September 22
Spanish Mama: Printable Spanish-Speaking Countries and Capitals Game Cards
September 23
All Done Monkey: The Aztec – Top Books for Kids
September 26
Crafty Moms Share: A Look at Mexican Art
September 27
Discovering the World Through My Son’s Eyes: Children’s Books about Puerto Rico
September 28
La Clase de Sra. DuFault: Childhood Games – La Payaya and Corre el Anillo
September 30
Mama Tortuga: Sounds and Dances of Hispanic America
October 3
Hispanic Mama on Multicultural Kid Blogs: 6 Magical Places to Visit with Kids in Ecuador
October 4
La Clase de Sra. DuFault: La mes de la Herencia Hispana en la escuela
October 6
Pura Vida Moms: Best Spanish Pop Ballads
October 7
Spanglish House: Celebrating Heritage with Traditional Remedies
Embracing Diversity: 3 Happiness Lessons Our Kids Can Learn from Dominican Culture
October 10
Mundo Lanugo: The Importance of Maintaining Cultural Identity in Children
October 11
Kid World Citizen
October 12
MommyMaestra
October 13
inspired by familia
October 14
El Mundo de Pepita on Multicultural Kid Blogs
Don’t miss all of the great posts from previous years as well: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015
Hispanic Heritage Month Giveaway!
Giveaway begins September 14 and goes through October 14, 2016.
Enter below for a chance to win one of these amazing prize packages! Some prizes have shipping restrictions. In the event that a winner lives outside the designated shipping area, that prize will then become part of the following prize package. For more information, read our full giveaway rules.
Grand Prize
-Month of free access to online Spanish home learning program from Calico Spanish
-If You Were Me and Lived in… series, Peru, Mexico, Brazil, and Portugal books from Carole P. Roman US Shipping Only
-Spark important conversations about diversity, inclusivity and acceptance with award-winning Barefoot Books! Collection includes Barefoot Books World Atlas, The Barefoot Book of Children, Children of the World Memory Game, The Great Race, Mama Panya’s Pancakes, Off We Go to Mexico, Up and Down the Andes, We all Went on Safari, We’re Sailing Down the Nile, We’re Sailing to Galapagos US & Canada Shipping Only
–Aquí Allá CD from Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band US Shipping Only
-Animales CD from 123 Andrés US Shipping Only
-Best of the Bowl CD from Hot Peas ‘N Butter US Shipping Only
–Juana and Lucas by Juana Medina (hard cover), El fútbol me hace feliz by Maribeth Boelts and illustrated by Lauren Castillo (paperback), Blankie/Mantita by Leslie Patricelli (board book) from Candlewick Press US & Canada Shipping Only
–A Child’s Life in the Andes e-book plus music CD from Daria Music
-Hola Hello CD with lyrics in digital format from Mariana Iranzi
-T-shirt of choice (or equal value $18) from Ellie Elote US Shipping Only
-Scarves, coin purse and painted wood bracelets from Nicaragua, and a map puzzle of Central America from Spanish Playground US Shipping Only
–Latin GRAMMY-winning album Los Animales from Mister G US Shipping Only
First Prize
-If You Were Me and Lived in… series, Peru, Mexico, Brazil, and Portugal books from Carole P. Roman US Shipping Only
–Aquí Allá CD from Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band US Shipping Only
-Animales CD from 123 Andrés US Shipping Only
-Best of the Bowl CD from Hot Peas ‘N Butter US Shipping Only
–Juana and Lucas by Juana Medina (hard cover), El fútbol me hace feliz by Maribeth Boelts and illustrated by Lauren Castillo (paperback), Blankie/Mantita by Leslie Patricelli (board book) from Candlewick Press US & Canada Shipping Only
-Hola Hello CD with lyrics in digital format from Mariana Iranzi
-T-shirt of choice (or equal value $18) from Ellie Elote US Shipping Only
-Scarves, coin purse and painted wood bracelets from Nicaragua, and a map puzzle of Central America from Spanish Playground US Shipping Only
–Olinguito, from A to Z! (bilingual) by Lulu Delacre, Rafi and Rosi by Lulu Delacre, Mamá the Alien (bilingual) y René Colato Laínez and illustrated by Laura Lacámara, Marisol MacDonald and the Monster (bilingual) by Monica Brown from Lee & Low Books US Shipping Only
-Ecuador Themed International Cooking Box from Global Gastronauts US Shipping Only
–Ora de Despertar Ladino Children’s Music CD from Sarah Aroeste Hard copy if US winner; digital if international winner
–T-shirt of choice from Mundo Lanugo US Shipping Only
–Latin GRAMMY-winning album Los Animales from Mister G US Shipping Only
Second Prize
-If You Were Me and Lived in… series, Peru, Mexico, Brazil, and Portugal books from Carole P. Roman US Shipping Only
–Aquí Allá CD from Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band US Shipping Only
-Animales CD from 123 Andrés US Shipping Only
-Best of the Bowl CD from Hot Peas ‘N Butter US Shipping Only
–Juana and Lucas by Juana Medina (hard cover), El fútbol me hace feliz by Maribeth Boelts and illustrated by Lauren Castillo (paperback), Blankie/Mantita by Leslie Patricelli (board book) from Candlewick Press US & Canada Shipping Only
-Hola Hello CD with lyrics in digital format from Mariana Iranzi
-T-shirt of choice (or equal value $18) from Ellie Elote US Shipping Only
-Scarves, coin purse and painted wood bracelets from Nicaragua, and a map puzzle of Central America from Spanish Playground US Shipping Only
–Culture Chest with the theme “Dancing in September” for Hispanic Heritage Month. Includes bilingual books Tito Puente, Mambo King and Me llamo Celia Cruz, both by Monica Brown and Rafael Lopez US Shipping Only
–Spanish Alphabet Print (US Shipping Only) and single-use promo code for Spanish for kids language app from Gus on the Go
–Latin GRAMMY-winning album Los Animales from Mister G US Shipping Only
Bonus Prize
Piñata from Piñatas de Laly Europe & US Shipping Only
