Why My Definition of Sexy Shifted After 14 Years of Marriage and yours will too after reading this article!
I was around 7 months pregnant or as some would say, “Great with child.”, when I opened the door to our adorable toddler’s room.
I hadn’t been able to sleep because the back pain and belly made it impossible. For some reason during pregnancy, my body hates all food, but eggs and ramen noodles. And I’m nauseous all day every day for the whole 9 months. So when my toddler goes down for a nap I try to rest even if it that just means sitting down on the couch for 15 minutes.
Well, this particular morning my 2.5-year-old was supposed to be napping.
He was very quiet so I didn’t hear any of what was happening behind the closed doors until I went into his room to wake him up.
Then I almost barfed!
This kind of thing always happens when you’re alone
I was disgustingly surprised to find him covered in poop. Yes, the little guy slept covered and surrounded in poop. The walls had poop paintings all over it and it reeked. It was awful, it took everything inside me not to vomit all over him as I tried to pick him up but could barely get a handle on him because he was slippery.
My husband was out. Of course, he was. This kind of thing always happens when you’re alone.
In sheer desperation, I called him. It was short and sweet, “Shit! There’s shit everywhere! You must come home asap.” I don’t make it a habit of cursing but sometimes it just seems appropriate.
He could’ve of conveniently stayed out longer but instead, he cut his errands short, ran home and not only did he wipe down the walls but he washed all of the bedding and put a fresh set of sheets on.
That’s what I’m talking about!
Who needs Indiana Jones?
Who needs Indiana Jones to rescue the damsel in toddler-shit distress? Not me!
Oh no, I have my strong, brave and hot hubby who came to my rescue!
(If you’re rolling your eyes because you think I’m exaggerating. Wait until you experience your first diaper explosion or your very own poop wall painting then you’ll know it takes courage to walk into a room like that.)
I don’t remember all of the details but what I do recall is I didn’t have to tell my husband to do any of it. He didn’t think twice about what he had to do. He just did it because that’s who he is.
Now that’s sexy!
Forget that ridiculously long list you came up with when you were naive and single –“What I want in a Husband”.
Picking up toddler shit without being threatened to do it totally trumps the stupid stuff on that list: bulging biceps, funny, intelligent, attractive, dotes over me, athletic, musically talented…
The New Sexy
This is what I would go back and tell my single self to include on that list:
- committed & responsible
- family man
- helpful around the house
- can make boo-boos better
- perseveres through the hard stuff
- sensitive to the needs of those around him
- a man who loves God
- plays with the kids even if they want to do something he hates
- can follow a recipe
- vomit catcher
- open to adventures
- hard worker
- supports your dreams
Friends this list is the new sexy.
This is romance at a whole new level!
14 Years of Marriage Tip
Today we celebrate 14 years of bliss, joy, challenges, love, forgiveness, grace, friendship…
I never imagined I could possibly love him more than when I was standing under the white arch at that historical southern plantation on a hot Carolina day in May.
But I do.
Our love has deepened in ways that only time and life experiences can weave together: holding our first born, our first fight, adventuring together, failing together, sleepless nights with sick kids, camping, praying together, being there for each other, trying to catch mid-air vomit in order to avoid a dirty couch….
So I’ll be the first to tell you my definition of “hot & sexy” has definitely shifted. If you’re single forget that ridiculously long list you came up with and make “The New Sexy” list. If you’re married and your husband is doing these things then girl, go text him and tell him how much you appreciate those things.
My man is smoking hot when he looks at me and says, “You can do this. I believe in you.” He makes me want to want him more when he stands over the sink and washes the dishes.
Not because he loves doing it, but because he loves me.”
Don’t get me wrong this doesn’t mean you ignore the other things in your marriage and you stop going on dates. We work hard at being intentional to keep the spark alive in our marriage by going on dates and rekindling our love for each other.
But it’s not always about those long walks on the beach, the dozen roses, and expensive perfume gifts. It’s the little things done every day with love that add up and solidify your marriage.”
Now it’s Your Turn
Tell me what is the new sexy for you? What does your husband do around the house or for the kids that make you gush with giddiness?